Confident or Egotistical? What Is the Right Recipe for Success as a Founder?

In preparation for a talk about risk for founders and CEOs, I was thinking about my years working with hedge funds on high stakes business deals. I am talking $10 — $100mm deals or investments. Talk about risk. I watched funds lose 10s of millions and then double down.

What did I learn from how they approached risk? Managed risk? Or ran headfirst into it and lost? I started with a look at their personalities or psychological makeup. (I am clearly not an expert in this field but a close observer).

What did I see? Ego? Confidence? A touch of narcissism?

What did I not see? Imposter syndrome? Fear?

What about you? We all have an ego is yours in check? Have you found the right balance?

Leggo My Ego?

Ego is the “I” or self of any person.

It is often rooted in your insecurities or limiting beliefs. It’s your head trash (as my coach loves to call it).

Yet, it expresses itself often as this need to be seen as always right; superior; a winner. It is about exaggerated confidence or false confidence, coming across as bravado. A big head.

On some level, you can associate it with traditional models of leadership, generally male constructs, of being “top dog”. You are always right, you don’t need help from anyone, you will not be undermined or criticized, and you are the bright shining star. Maybe that is why I feel like some of the leaders I have worked with have a “healthy” ego because let’s be honest 99.9% of them are middle aged white men.

But were they? All of them? Certainly some. Yet, ego can drive your fear of failure. Fear of taking risk, putting yourself out there, and experiencing the pain of being unsuccessful. Not living up to an image. Of having your ego bubble burst when you fail!

But these guys were risk takers. Just like founders doing something novel, disruptive, and seemingly crazy.

And let’s be honest, founders need to have a very strong belief that they are right. That what they see as possible, is possible, despite the naysayers and constant rejection (how many stories have you heard about successful starts that got rejected by 100 venture capital firms before they got a yes). They go out and bend the world to their vision. A touch of ego?

A wee narcissistic? On the inflated ego end of the spectrum, not the personality disorder and total lack of empathy for others end.

Or, is it confidence?

Confidence is King or Queen

Real confidence is having faith in yourself, in your abilities, your knowledge, and skills.

You are sure of yourself and your decisions. You are open to listening to others because you know you don’t know everything and, therefore, those decisions I think are more informed and so you should be confident in them!

Confident leaders acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses and seek to learn and grow their talents and abilities. They don’t presume they are good at everything because they are good at one thing.

As a founder and CEO, confidence is powerful. Your team feels safe when you are confident in your own ability to achieve success and the talents of your team.

We saw how confidence makes for great leadership in the face of COVID. The confident ones stood up and said “I don’t know what comes next, no clue”, yet, they projected a belief in themselves and their teams to weather the storm and pivot as needed.

As I continued to think about ego vs. confidence, I threw into the mix imposter syndrome. I often work with female founders and imposter syndrome is a reoccurring issue, but you will see a hint of it with all founders. Where does that fit in?

Are You a Fraud?

Those with imposter syndrome doubt their accomplishments and can feel like a failure. They are convinced they are not as intelligent, talented, experienced, or skilled as people think.

Therefore, they are afraid of being found out as lacking. Imposter syndrome is highly correlated with high achievers and perfectionists. Hello, most founders. Yet most founders have never been CEOs before and transitioning into that role will spark some of these fears of being seen as a fraud.

The best ones, the successful ones, are acutely self-aware. They know their strengths and own them, but they also know their weaknesses and look to learn and grow, as well as hire the right people, to fill those gaps. They are confident enough to step into the CEO role without ego holding them back.