Fill Yourself Up With Feedback

Kate Carney
4 min readDec 4, 2020

I don’t think anyone would disagree that leaders who seek out feedback are more effective. Boom. Not earth shattering I know.

But, it can be challenging to get timely, specific, and honest feedback.

It’s tricky. How do leaders get what they need to actually improve as managers, as a business, and as the champion of great company culture?

Let’s break it down a bit.

I Promise I Can Take It — Give Me Everything You Got

Do your employees really feel that way? Do they feel they can give you open and honest feedback without any repercussions? Without creating tension or having their ideas dismissed?

How do you create the necessary trust and psychological safety you need to get (and give!) the good stuff? I was listening to a great episode of Leadership Biz Café Podcast with guest Timothy Clark who has written about psychological safety. Phase 2 (of 4) is learner safety which includes the ability to give and receive feedback. Take a listen here to learn about the other phases: https://apple.co/2JbLgPh

First off, ask questions. Be curious. What’s working. What’s not working. What could be better? What are you most afraid of with this project/process? Asking questions shows that you are ok admitting you don’t know everything or are not the best at everything. That kind of vulnerability builds trust.

Second, take note of your emotions and reactions. I don’t just mean to feedback though It is important to notice if something made you bristle, anxious or had another feeling and explore it further … but I mean more broadly. How do you react when someone has an opposing view or bad news? Is there an eye roll — a bad habit I have!

Third, listen and pay attention. Don’t be all in your head coming up with rebuttals or ruminating. Stay present. Put your phone down. Show you are turning off the sound. Close your computer screen. Move your papers aside (ok virtual papers now).

Be ok with silence. Ease into the conversation. We all know that it can be challenging to give upward feedback — particularly face-to-face. Like an interview, 80% of the value comes in the last 20%. Get people talking and comfortable.

I Want it Now

As a leader you should seek out feedback on a regular basis. It certainly should not be a once a year, check-the-box, and you’re done.

You may do one big 360 review annually or bi-annually. Maybe you go beyond your internal stakeholders with the 360 to include customers, or vendors, friends and family, board members, advisors or other third parties in the process as the business grows.

Seek out feedback on a specific project or event. In this case you can ask for it the same day or that week. While it is fresh in someone’s mind. When the feedback can be specific. What if you just held a team meeting to talk about a new product or initiative. Maybe you ask — what did you hear when I said “x” or laid out our strategy? Is there something I could have done to make it clearer? Did you feel like you could ask questions? Do you see any flaws in our analysis?

Perhaps you are actively working to improve some skill already — last year the overwhelming comment was you are not clear in your communications. Then you may ask, “I am really trying to make sure I am clear and concise with the team, could you point out some occasions I was not clear. Or, could you shoot me an email every time you have no clue what I am saying don’t be shy, it would really help me.” “On a scale of 1 to 10 how am I doing?”

What and How?

Mix it up. Try 360 reviews, AMAs, surveys, and one-on-ones. Have clear objectives. Ask open-ended questions. Have follow ups.

You could be focused on your own leadership skills. You could be asking for feedback on business strategy and objectives, a new product, or company culture. Is there something I’ve said I would do, or the Company would do, and I haven’t acted on it? Are you afraid of something at work? Now, I read that one. I wouldn’t have thought of it necessarily. But on the podcast, I mentioned, they talked about fear and how it plays into “learner safety”.

Maybe the what and the how evolve as the business evolves. In a recent article, CEO, David Klein, CEO shared his views on how the feedback process has unfolded at CommonBond. Early on, the company conducted semi-annual reviews that included question that rated his performance on things that were important to the company like “inspiration, collaboration, and communication”. Later, they added 30–60 min deep dives with 10 employees and 10 of his relatives and friends to get a more holistic view of his leadership. Finally, he suggests that at scale, “the focus should be less on the CEO’s performance as a leader and more on his or her vision and strategy.”

Food for thought. The one nugget we can all take away, I hope, is not only the value of feedback to strong leadership but also the fact that you are responsible for creating the environment and avenues to make that happen.

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Kate Carney

I help women entrepreneurs scale businesses. I am a business consultant and legal advisor.